LOL

I really lol when I saw Vic's comment that the L.A. Times said that although Ohio State is considered by the usual bevy of fools the #1 team in the country, it's actually the #2 team in the PAC-10 since SoCal will beat the living daylights out of them and the #3 team in the SEC since Florida and LSU already have!!! Good going, Vic!

My Return to The Swamp

At the behest of my older brother and blog founder Joaq, I am submitting for your reading pleasure and sleeping aide the story of “My Return to the Swamp” You know that good things await you when you’re over 100 miles away from Gainesville in the crisp of the morning and the car astride you on the Florida Turnpike has a huge “Swamp Bound” sign on its side. As I rode with Joaq attired in our defiant (more on that later)orange and blue shirts, I was reminded of the adrenaline generating force of the Chattooga River pushing our whitewater raft towards the thundering rapids that awaited us. Now let me digress to tell you why our Orange and Blue attire was defiant. For those of you who are not yet familiar with the demi god that has been bestowed upon the Gators, Urban Meyer- it appears that he not only a football prowess, but also an artist who uses a unique medium to express his creativity. He regularly applies the denizens of the Gator Nation as pigments that paint his orange and blue canvas AKA “The Swamp”. On this particular Saturday Urban had decreed that white would be the color of choice for painting his Swamp. However, yours truly (and his other brother Darryl) decided that resistance was in order and refused to be assimilated. As you might imagine, our bravado wavered as we neared The Swamp and saw that our fellow denizens had all been happily assimilated as Urban’s white pigments. When we grew increasingly concerned that the Swamp forces would eject us and I couldn’t shake the thought that we had seats on the very top row next to the outer wall of The Swamp, I took secret comfort in remembering that I was wearing a white t-shirt under the orange shirt that Joaq so graciously had provided me. Being the loyal brother that I am, and thinking that Joaq was not wearing a white t-shirt, I fought my urge to jettison the orange shirt and spent much of the first quarter holding on tightly to my seat lest I suffer a Monty Pythonish ejection over the top of The Swamp wall. But I’m getting ahead of myself. While still en route to G’ville I suffered a bout of nostalgia requiring a dose of contact with my old Frat house roommate, Worthless Worm. I employed my cell phone and the miracles of modern technology to erase three decades of history as the voice on the other end exclaimed “What’s Up Frax?” As if awakened from a 30+ year long dream I gave the obligatory response plagiarized from the good old days of SNL “Is this the party to whom I’m speaking?” After a long discussion involving complex logistics, time, and space, we resorted to the universal solution for bodies that are moving in convergent but different directions, at varying speeds, and hope to converge at some point – “Call me when you get there and we’ll figure something out”. As usual it worked – but I’m getting ahead of myself again. As we approached the familiar confines of the epicenter of the Gator Nation I was thrown off by an unfamiliar name on an otherwise familiar Law School area, at which we would soon be tailgating. It appears that if you have had a building named after you; some bozo can come along with a sufficiently large boatload of money and outbid you for the naming rights. Even if that bozo is someone nobody likes and you are too dead to counter their bid (as is the case in the renaming of the UF law school). As soon as I’m done with this blog I’m starting the campaign to prevent the renaming of the Washington Monument to the Bill Gates obelisk. OK back to The Swamp story. After spending a most pleasant couple of hours with the bright and pleasant future of our country, under the shade of Spanish moss covered Live Oaks, and discussing everything from hurricane path prediction models to the virtues of environmental engineers, it was time to leg the final part of the trek to Mecca. The orange and blue brothers approached hallowed ground of The Swamp, propelled by the white rapids (they were rapids before they became pigments) composed of citizens of the Gator Nation, the nervous excitement of the looming waterfall at the end of the rapids returned to my veins. Unfortunately, instead of the waterfall we were now facing a climb to row 90 of The Swamp with a recurring warning from the loud speakers that I would probably be dead from heat stroke within three hours. Ah, the Swamp. All the color and pageantry of college football in its greatest glory – slightly dampened by some very dark and ominous clouds overhead and a very whitish hue as decreed by Urban– well, at least we weren’t dying of heat stroke. When the dark clouds released a torrential downpour that chased us all back to the entrails of the Swamp (all except my conspicuously blue clad brother) I turned to the sardine next to me and said “don’t worry Urban has connections that go way above the coaching sky boxes and he is making deals to ensure an on time and dry start to the game.” I had no idea of my power of prediction until… exactly on cue the rain stopped with just enough time to allow us to get back to our seats and watch the sun peak through as the Gators hit one of the many lousy kicks they would kicking this Saturday. A football pundit later said that the sky high kicks that barely made it to the Rainbow Warriors 20yd line were intentional – yeah right! Not only did Urban have a rain shower cool down The Swamp right before kickoff, he made those dire warnings of death by heat stroke seem silly by ordering just the right combination of drizzle and breeze so that The Swamp was swathed in a cooling mist throughout the afternoon. After I finish the name retention campaign, I am contacting NOAA so that they stop this passive nonsense of trying to predict where hurricanes are going and hire Urban to tell the hurricanes where to go. (Pun intended) About the Game- You already saw Jason’s game analysis as posted by Joaq on the blog yesterday – Here is a different take: True the Gators won big; true the Gators didn’t pull out all the stops; but what the Gators accomplished, after several failed attempts, was to win a game without relying on Team Tebow to pull off the win. For the first time in two years Urban forced the Gators to win a game using running backs gaining yards with up the gut plays. The Gators were also lucky that the Rainbow Warriors had difficulty completing passes to some very open downfield receivers. I’m sure that’s been noted by the Bulldogs, Tigers, and assorted other wildlife. Regardless of what the pundit said, the Gators had better find someone who can send a kickoff into the end zone before we play a team with an offense that will take advantage of starting their drives on the 35 or better. Well, I’ve bored you enough and besides I’m plum out of that poetic wax stuff (my brother got most of it in our family); and with all these her-acanes and his-acanes coming at us- we best get outa here- So I’ll be back later if the good Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise. Say a prayer for New Orleans and our Gulf Coast dwelling friends that are about to get walloped by his-acane Gustav. Go Gators!

Who Needs a Home When You Got The Swamp!

To the right is a picture of Rick & me at The Swamp for the opening game against Hawaii. Rick is homeless as a result of a fire that burned down his beautiful house in Ft. Lauderdale last week. I am also homeless as a result of a flood that drove me and Rhonda out of our lake home in Orlando last week. Both of us will be out of our respective homes for months. Thursday I called Rick who was in North Carolina on business and after he told me about his fire and I told him about my flood, I told him I had an extra ticket to the Gator's opening game against Hawaii, would he like to come? Like a true Bull Gator, he not only said, "Yes!!!" But "Heck, YES!!!!!!!!! I'm changing my flight to Orlando as we speak". So I picked him up at the airport and we headed to Gator Country. Who needs a home when you got The Swamp?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

1st Weekend Recap

• Trojans-- The Trojans dismantled the Virginia Cavaliers 52-7 @ Virginia. QB Sanchez put on a commanding performance. He was 26 for 35 for 338 yards with three picture-perfect touchdown drives in the first 11 minutes. Then the Trojan offense hit warp drive and made the hyperspace jump. I hate to see what would have happened if Sanchez had not hurt his knee a couple of weeks earlier. Obviously he's 100%. The Trojan "D" was utterly dominating. Congrats, cousins, it looks like a great season coming right up.
• LSU Tigers -- The defending national champs easily took care of last year's Cinderella Appy State beating them 41-13 for the home opener @ Baton Rouge. The Tigers essentially ran the ball at will. Charles Scott rushed for a career high 160 yards on 16 carries. LSU looked like a steamroller rolling over the poor Moutaneers... while the steamroller driver ate a sandwich and spoke on his cell phone. Congrats, Luisleon, you got a couple of easy off-conference games coming up and then dum da dum da daaa... the SEC will come knocking at your door. Enjoy it while you can.
• Iowa Hawkeyes-- The Hawkeyes crushed the Maine Blackbears 46-3. Like LSU, the Hawkeyes ran the ball at will and ended with a total 245 yards rushing. Congrats, Ted!!! Good luck the rest of the season.
• Gators-- It was a windy and rainy day at The Swamp thanks to Hurricane Gustav and the Gators breezed through Hawaii 56-10 without breaking a sweat. It was an interesting game (if you're a Gator). Florida was without some of it's principal weapons on both sides of the ball. Heisman candidate wideout Percy Harvin stayed on the sidelines because of a sore heel and All -SEC middle linebacker and defensive leader Brandon Spikes also sat it out (sore toe). Veteran TE Aaron Hernadez also sat it out, not sure why. I think Meyer wanted to let some of the freshmen play. Tebow never took off his Clark Kent suit and played with one hand tied behind his back. At the beginning it almost looked like a scrimmage as Tebow kept handing off to a number of brand new running backs to let them stretch their legs with all the urgency of a backyard barbecue game of tag football. Then the running backs warmed up and between them, the defense, and special teams, the Gators put up 42 points in about 15 dazzling minutes. During those blinding moments, Brandon James returned a punt 74 yards to the house, Strong Safety Ahmad Black returned an interception 80 yards to paydirt and various and sundry running backs kept dazzling the home crowd with incredible speed as they crossed the goal line untouched. While the Gators scored at will, I got the following text message from Jason: "Dad, you realize that all our points have come from 1. Defense 2. Running backs. Urban's genius is beyond my comprehension... he is toying with them." Jason is right, of course. We barely opened our playbook. There's no tape for Miami or Tennessee to watch. We just ran a Saturday afternoon scrimmage. Toward the end of the game Hawaii finally scored a field goal against our third-string D (after the first attempt was blocked by our second string) and then a last minute touchdown after the Gator D bench had been completely emptied. By then our defensive coordinator Charlie Strong had taken off his headset and was chatting with our offensive coordinator Dan Mullen who had come down from his box. The game had been turned over to the graduate assistants and the big boys were just shooting the breeze, enjoying the breeze.
• Texas A&M Aggies-- Pete, my heart goes out to you, buddy. You guys still have some rebuilding ahead of you. Arkansas State 18, Texas A&M 14.

Party Animals

I hope the University of Florida can overcome their hangovers to play in today's "big" game. Now, among their many awards and accolades, they have been named the #1 party school in the country. Best of luck and better have some hair of the dog.

Good Times in JAX

All I can say is "WOW"! To meet the infamous LuisLeon and Joaq was an amazing adventure! Good times, good food, good wine (too much of it obviously if I was singing the praises of TT @ the end of the night) and great camaraderie! And to think it all was due to the blog and the love of our schools. Unbelievable! Anyway, I, the token Aggie, am ready for the CFB season to kickoff. Now many of you think the season has started since the Pac 1 + 9 played a game already, but the real season starts when the 12th man comes out onto Kyle Field, sending the students into a frenzy and tees it up! That, my friends, is when CFB starts! I'm looking forward to the beginning of the Coach Sherm era (have I said good riddance to Coach Fran yet?) and the Aggies winning the Big 12 South! That's right baby, shock the world...or the majority of the South! Can't wait to meet up with more fellow bloggers at a tailgate/game of our choice! Good luck to all and of course, Gig 'Em!

Welcome Ted!

Just wanted to say that, yes, blame me for the invitation of a Big 10 fan. Actually, I used to be one when I was young and living in Michigan. Truth be told, I secretly sometimes root for Michigan when playing certain teams (that shall remain nameless) represented by this blog . Suffice it to say, Ted is a fine balance to the south-and-west-bottom-heaviness of the blog. This will be a fun season and I am looking forward to the beginning of college football. Great to have you, Ted, with us in this Band of College Football Brothers and Sisters.

How do I get an Iowa banner up at the top of the blog?

Thanks for the invite. Happy to join the fellowship. Blame Nora for me being here, but I was wondering if it would be too much to ask to get some Big Ten representation on the e-masthead up there. Just floating a balloon here, but wondering about an Iowa banner. If I've already overstepped my welcome, again, blame Nora. She also suggested I voice my feelings that the Big Ten conference is the premiere athletic conference in the nation, but that's no way to make friends when just stepping into this big tent. Cheers, Ted Hawkeye

The Power of The Blog to Bring Us Together!

The last two days were fantastic and a testament to the power of our blog. I was doing a case in the panhandle of Florida and remembered that the famous Cuban Cajun, Luisleon, lived in the vicinity. I emailed him that I was at the Marriott Baypoint resort in Panama City Beach and he promptly replied that he was ten minutes away, shutting down his computer, and jumping in his speedy beemer so please have a cold one waiting at the waterfront bar. I complied and soon we were chugging cold ones, eating sushi, and generally having such a noisy blast that we came darn close to being kicked out of the bar (all the fault of the ragin cajun). We called Vic and put him on speaker so the whole bar could hear our wild trash talk. The party continued the next day when Luisleon and I took off on a four-hour road trip to Jacksonville. I had a case there the next day and Luisleon came up with some lame excuse about a corporate meeting in Jax so we could continue the adventure. We checked into the Hyatt Grand Riverside and soon Luisleon was quaffing martinis (I was drinking skim milk) at the bar. We were beginning to make dinner plans when I got an email from Natalie who was in Sacramento. As usual, I replied "to all" that I was at a bar in Jax with Luisleon. Instantly the famous "Aggie Twelf Man", Pete Dunn, emailed back saying that he had just bogeyed the 17th hole at Sawgrass, just down the road at beautiful Ponte Vedra Beach. Soon the ragin Cuban Cajun and I were cruising down AIA to meet Dunn and his clients at Ruth Chris' Steakhouse. Now, I must take a moment to set the record straight: I was stone cold sober (having only had milk) as we drove toward Ponte Vedra. Luisleon, on the other hand, was utterly out of control. He was so wild that he picked up my blackberry and started texting and emailing other blog members (principally Victor) from my blackberry. The fact that he started using my bb instead of his own bb which he had in his other hand is conclusive proof of his state of mind (or unmind) so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please ignore the rantings that came from my blackberry on the evening of August 26th. They were clearly the product of a demented cajun. Pete and two of his clients (one was another lsu cajun --"Skeeter", the other a nc tarheel) were waiting for us at the bar. I ordered another milk. Pete was a wonderful and generous host. We had a superb dinner and notwithstanding our protestations and attempts to pick up the tab, Pete had made prior arrangements and treated us all to a veritable feast of the finest food and drink, even rare California wines which, to maintain my sobriety, I sadly abstained from drinking. We really got to know each other after dinner at the bar (where I continued to have milk) and had so much fun that we closed the place down. When we looked up all other customers had left the joint (or were driven out by the wild rantings of my fellow bloggers --specially the cajuns). We were all so captured by the moment that we even pledged to visit College Station together and Pete got so sentimental and teary-eyed that he even praised Tim Tebow and called him the best QB in the history of the world!!!!!

First Games - Coming Right Up!

The First Games of the principal blog participants are, in order of kickoff time:

1. August 30th 12:30PM Eastern/9:30AM Pacific: UF v Hawaii @ The Swamp
2. August 30th 3:30PM Eastern/12:30PM Pacific: USC v UVa @ Virginia
3. August 30th 5:00PM Eastern/4:00PM Central: LSU v App State @ Death Valley
4. August 30th 7:00PM Eastern/6:00PM Central: Tex A&M v Ark St @Coll Station

Check your local stations for TV listings - unless you're headed to the game.